Affluent white men in expensive cotton tees or custom suits sit around exclusive cafes in Hollywood and casually create movies about the type of life we’re living here in Singapore. Of course, the characters never look like us because that would make the surreal even more unbelievable, but it’s our stories just the same.
This year alone, we’ve had non-stop adventures and cinematic experiences every week. If we weren’t traveling throughout Asia and the southern hemisphere, we were attending or hosting some soiree or serving as tour guides for visiting friends. Just last night we were celebrating three friends’ birthdays in a private party, dancing like our feet weren’t killing us on a rooftop terrace, and singing old school R&B jams in karaoke until the cops came knocking three times and finally kicked us out of our friend’s lavish condo. If it weren’t for the drastic difference in our age and economic status now, I could’ve sworn we were back at FAMU! There has not been one dull moment, and we love it! It’s one of the primary reasons
we are not ready to leave our temporary haven in SE Asia.
When my husband first came to me with the news that we would be moving to Hong Kong before I had even completed a year in Singapore, my first reaction was something like, “I ain’t gon’ do it!”
I seriously wanted us to consider a long distance marriage where we commuted once a week. I looked for all sorts of ways to create more financial streams to make it possible. It had nothing to do with any feelings one way or another about Hong Kong. I haven’t been yet, so I have no opinion about it. I look forward to living in other countries one day, but I just didn’t feel like our time here was done.
Inevitably, we know this dream will end, but I’m not ready to wake up yet. Practically, the idea of moving to another foreign place in less than a year with a toddler in tow and a baby in the womb is altogether unappealing regardless of the destination. Couple that with leaving the incredible community we helped establish, the learning center I’ve started, and the organization for women of African descent living abroad I founded, and you have an overgrown, full-blown, hormonal temper tantrum!
There’s something about the power we have to SPEAK our desires into existence. Once I made peace with the idea of having to uproot yet again, I simply let go of any frustration and stress that I was feeling about it. I trusted that we would thrive either way, and just started stating and believing that we would continue to live this amazing life to which we’ve been exposed. I stopped focusing on what I didn’t want and just focused on what I did yearn. I wanted my family to feel secure, to maintain the community we have, to continue building solid relationships, expand the learning center, lay the foundation for the women’s organization, and still feel as fulfilled and vibrant as I have been. I made it clear that I wanted it to be here in Singapore for at least another year, but I am completely submissive to the divine plan.
We ain’t going nowhere! (Well, we’re actually traveling again this weekend, but we’re not moving, yet, that is.) Less than a week after I found this peace with the idea of it and begin sharing the news about the potential move with others instead of wallowing in self-pity, the mister approached his team and informed them of our desires to stay and pleaded the case. Instead of giving us thirty days to move as they did before, he urged them to make the formal offer immediately or agree that we should remain in Singapore for at least another year. They agreed, and it’s done!
I’m most excited that I get to give birth to our sun, (yes, we’re having a little prince just as the kibibi and I expected!), amongst friends in a familiar setting. The sequel to our life here is secure and I couldn’t be more thankful.
Black Girls Speak and Healing Begins 